They look pretty chill for being so guilty

10. Don’t Read Drudge Report for two more weeks, and temporarily stop following that dude on twitter

9. Check to see if your site pops up in Google for different searches, like “handsome dude dc” via this nifty tool. As you can see above, mine did not

8. Learn every trick to your favorite piece of software, or master a new one to increase your resume’s potential in this down job market. Lynda.com will help you out with that for $25.

7. Get a haircut that really sucks; nothing is more distracting than destroyed vanity.

6. Look for ways to not find those Mac commercials funny.

5. Use Yahoo Maps to plan a trip that involves Route 66 inside the beltway, go ahead, just try dragging your route to include 66. Good luck.

4. Marvel at the video that is Stanky Leg. I think this proves every parent’s conclusions about “that rap music.”

3. Go take some freakin pictures and then mess around with Sea Dragon.

2. Buy gifts for all the women in your life at Etsy.com. You will be a thrilling success employing this gifting method.

1. Read Zonkio cover to cover.